David and Bathsheba

My section of the script from our puppet show today.

Narrator: David was thirty years old when he began he reign and he reigned for forty years. David conquers lands and gives away the land of Saul to Jonathan’s son. David also moves the ark around, God smites an innocent man from touching the ark even though the man was saving it from crashing to the ground. It’s your typical God in an unjustly angry situation. And all of this leads up to the story we all really want to hear…that being David and Bathsheba.


David is roaming around on the roof (or just around the set) and suddenly spots Bathsheba

Bathsheba is bathing (use water bottle to imitate the bath water)

David: Oh my! Who is that beautiful young lady I see cleansing herself? I care not what the price…I must have her for myself! I must have her at once!

Narrator: And indeed David insisted that Bathsheba would visit him immediately. He called upon one of his servants to retrieve Bathsheba from the water and bring her to him.

Bathsheba: Hello my Lord. I am Bathsheba.

David: Hello there lovely lady. Come, please lay down with me.

Bathsheba: Oh my Lord! You are quite forward, yet so handsome! I will lay down with you in an instant. I am sure my husband will not mind!

Narrator: And so Bathsheba and David proceeded to lay with each…and then Bathsheba returned to her house.

Bathsheba and David lay next to/on top of each other. Bathsheba goes to her home. (exits the set)

Narrator: Soon enough Bathsheba learns she is pregnant and sends a message to David to inform him of the news.

David makes a “shocked face”

David: Oh shit! Hmmm, I have an idea!

Narrator: And so it was that David told Joab to set Bathsheba’s’ husband Uriah at the front of the battle where he was sure to be killed. And he was. Bathsheba learned of her husband’s death and mourned

Bathsheba cries and now is showing that she is pregnant

Narrator: Once Bathsheba is finished mourning David brings her to his home and they get married.

David: I do.

Bathsheba: I do!

Narrator: However, David and Bathsheba did not simply live happily ever after because God was angry! So God sends Nathan as a messenger to tell David that he sucks at life.



Nathan: David, let me tell you a story.

There were two men in the same town: one a man of great wealth, and the other a poor man.

The man of wealth had great numbers of flocks and herds;

But the poor man had only one little she-lamb, which he had got and taken care of: from its birth it had been with him like one of his children; his meat was its food, and from his cup it took its drink, resting in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him.

Now a traveler came to the house of the man of wealth, but he would not take anything from his flock or his herd to make a meal for the traveler who had come to him, but he took the poor man's lamb and made it ready for the man who had come.

David: (obviously angered) As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die; he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity!

Nathan: You are the man! David, the Lord said that he anointed you and made you king, he rescued you from the hands of Saul and gave you your master’s house, and wives, and the house of Israel and Judah, and if that wasn’t enough he would have added more! But, you are evil and did these evil things right in front of the Lord. I’m sorry, but he’s got it out for you!

Narrator: And so it was that David and Bathsheba’s first born son became ill. David prayed and fasted hoping the Lord would forgive him of his ways and be merciful in sparing their son. Apparently in this situation the Lord decides to keep his word and allows the child to die.

David’s servants asked him why he stopped mourning after the death of his child, but all David could say was…

David: “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me”

Narrator: David console Bathsheba, then immediately sleeps with her. She conceives and gives birth to another son. They call him Solomon. The name means “replacement.